Conservato's Day
by TheNinthCircleofHell
Summary: Born off the Truth or Dare game in the GS forums: Conservato’s Day! I cried myself to sleep after writing of this monstrosity of a fic. The pairings created in this almost burst my spleen. Read it and let me die in peace. -Crack-


This fic was born in a truth or dare game in which WyvernChick made a dare to write a fic with my most hated character and get our GS cast to praise him as a god. I may have gone a step or two further; read on to find out exactly how!

As always, I _should_ be working on other fics BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

Camelot owns Golden Sun, _but maybe that's what they want you to think. *shifty eyes*_

I've also ripped quite a bit from other series as well, so I don't own any of those either.

* * *

**Conservato's Day** - _A normal day in the life of Conservato._

Conservato yawned, stretched and pulled himself up. He looked around his grand bedchamber and smiled smugly. Today was going to be yet another day of living his perfect life. As he was about to get out of bed, a stream of yells echoed around the room.

"He's up!"

"Where are Lord Conservato's slippers!?"

"I can't find them anywhere!"

"Quickly, do something! His bare feet are about to touch the dirty, unworthy ground!"

"HYAA!!" King Hydros made a running dash towards Conservato's bed and dived to the floor. "Step on me instead, oh lord!

"Naturally," replied Conservato, placing his weight down onto Hydros's back. A few cracks could be heard as the old king's back gave way.

"He's... walking on me..." cried Hydros, tears of happiness and pain flowing out of his eyes. "Oh, the honour..."

"Hurry!" declared one of the servants. "King Hydros is only so long! Make a path!"

A moment later all the servants in the vicinity lined up belly-down, creating a trail of Lemurians all the way to the dining table. Conservato continued smiling smugly and made his way to breakfast.

As Conservato entered the dining room, a pretty Lemurian maid presented him with his personal silk-laden chair. With a regal air, Conservato seated himself down.

"Master," the maid politely began. "Today we have prepared the fresh meat of the Wonderbird for your meal. Three Lemurians died attempting to capture the beast."

"What!? Only THREE died?" replied Conservato, enraged. "What kind of weak, decrepit Wonderbird was this? Go tell those warriors how dissatisfied I am with them and that they will all be punished accordingly!"

"Indeed master, I am sorry for you to feel such dissatisfaction so early in the morning. I will have a word with our hunters."

The maid bowed deeply and left the room backwards, never turning her back to Conservato. She would never show such disrespect as to turn her back to her master.

* * *

Breakfast passed by without too much rage. One of the chiefs had to have her hands removed for overcooking Conservato's vegetables but she was merely grateful to receive her just punishment. After breakfast, he was changed by his loyal maids into his regular royal attire.

"Now," muttered Conservato, running a hand arrogantly through his hair, "I am ready for another day of ruling Lemuria."

Conservato strode to the Senate and there he began his day of ruling. He passed new laws right and left. He held debates that didn't even need to be rigged; all he had to do was express his opinion and everyone would vote for his choice. The Senate kissed his ass so much it looked as if it had been painted in lipstick. King Hydros occasionally showed up but he was just a figurehead for the people, a powerless fool.

"I'm tired," declared Conservato suddenly a few hours later. "You all go on without me and just pick the decisions you think I would have chosen."

"Yes, my lord!" replied all the Senate members, Code Geass style.

Conservato left the Senate and made his way outside the palace. When the common Lemurians realised their God was walking among them, they all threw their heads to the floor so fast that the majority of them started bleeding.

"It's Lord Conservato!"

"I'm... so... happy..."

"He honours us so greatly with his mere presence!"

"KAMI!!" screamed a random in the crowd holding a Death Note.

Suddenly, there was a great shower of blue psynergy and Alex appeared. He followed suit with all the other Lemurians and threw his head into the dirt at Conservato's feet.

"Conservato!" he proclaimed, a blush crawling up his neck. "I... I just wanted to tell you how much I loved you! Everything I've done up until his point has been for you! All the lies, deceit and betrayals to get the power of the Golden Sun... they were all so I could impress you, and serve you! Please accept my feelings! Use me to your heart's content!"

"Look up, Alex," answered Conservato. Alex raised his head and looked into Conservato's smiling face. "Of course I'll accept your feelings, Alex."

"My Lord!!!" Alex yelled, tears of pure euphoria streaming out of his eyes.

Conservato ruffled Alex's hair. "You're such a good boy, Alex."

"Th-thank you, Lord!" blubbered Alex. "We are actually holding a festival in Vale in your honour! I... I would be delighted to take you there!

"Then take me, young Alex," replied Conservato. "It is only fitting that a festival held in someone's honour should have the person there himself."

"With pleasure!" exclaimed Alex, wiping the tears of joy from his face. He took Conservato's hand, _the God of his whole world's very hand_, and warped to Vale.

* * *

Conservato and Alex appeared in Vale's town square, where the Valeans had shipped off the giant psynergy crystal in place of a giant statue of their new God: Conservato. Streamers, lights and pretty colours in general were arranged everywhere in a festive spirit.

"Oh my GOD... he's HERE! HE'S ACTUALLY _HERE_!" screamed a nearby Valean, sighting Conservato.

Instantly, a horde of villagers gathered around Conservato. There was much squabbling to get a sight of their wondrous great Lord, but eventually they all settled down.

"My Lord..." murmured the Mayor of Vale. "A few words...?"

Conservato gazed around his loving new disciples and grinned. "Love me and I shall deliver you all into heaven's embrace!"

The fanatical crowd started cheering wildly. Our favourite party of adepts (Isaac, Garet, Ivan, etc, etc, etc.) stared at the whole scene in amazement, completely stunned.

However, it was out of complete admiration and worship for the awesomeness that is Conservato.

"Do you think when he said _love_ he meant feelings like... lust?" muttered Jenna, breathing heavily.

"If you feel that way about him Jenna, I won't stop you," muttered Felix, relaxing his older brother tendencies for the first time in his life. "But still, it would be a bit unfair for you to have all to yourself..."

"I'd gladly tell a man like that my age," commented Piers, sighing.

"I just want to run my tongue all over his body..." murmured Mia, licking her lips.

"You're not having him!" yelled Isaac angrily. "He's mine; all of you lay off him!"

"Quiet all of you! He's coming this way!" squealed Sheba.

The adepts watched in awe as Conservato strode up their group.

"Bow down, scum!" snarled Alex, trailing behind Conservato. The adepts, shocked, realised they were not paying their proper respects and bowed as deeply as they could, burying their foreheads into the grass.

"Conservato! I want you to share my bed with me tonight!" declared Jenna. "I want to feel your Salvation all over me!"

"Wow... she was very direct about that," muttered Garet.

"No!" yelled Ivan jealously. "Take me instead, Lord Conservato!"

"WHAT!?" shouted Alex. "He's mine! He's already said he accepts my feelings for him!"

"My disciples..." explained Conservato in a calm voice. "Would you not expect someone as great as me to be able to _share _his love?"

The adepts stared at Conservato, utterly shocked at what he was implying.

Isaac was the first to recover.

"You are so generous, my Lord! I am truly sorry for not expecting such a brilliant answer from our God!" he responded.

"As are we all!" exclaimed the rest of the adepts.

"But where will we find a bed large enough?" objected Piers.

"My personal bed back at Lemuria should provide ample space," answered Conservato matter-of-factly. "For now, all of you go enjoy the festival. Alex here will warp us all back to Lemuria later."

"Thank you, Lord!!" replied the adepts, plain gratitude showing across their faces.

The adepts all ran off happily and began their day of celebrating all things Conservato-related. They all bought Conservato plushies, ate Conservato's manufactured candy and went on the Conservato-shaped rides. They also took many, many photos and all had a wonderful day that they would never forget and look back on fondly later in life.

The sun set and the festival organisers set off fireworks that exploded into the shape of Conservato's godly smiling face for all to see.

But, however perfect the day was, it had to come to a close. The fireworks had all run out. All the stalls were packed up and mournfully placed away. However, the Valeans couldn't bear the thought of taking down their giant Conservato statue, so they left it resting where it was. Many took to smashing up the psynergy crystal and burying it so no one would ever be tempted to replace it with their beautiful new town square centrepiece.

However, the night wasn't over yet for a certain group of adepts.

"Hurry Jenna!" exclaimed Isaac. "We need to find Conservato otherwise we won't be able go back to Lemuria with him!"

"I'm running, Isaac!" responded Jenna, following Isaac sprinting around Vale.

Suddenly there was a large explosion nearby, followed by some screaming.

Isaac and Jenna glanced at each other for a second, and then ran towards the source of the explosion.

* * *

Standing ominously side-by-side of each other in front of Conservato were Naruto, Cloud, Ichigo and CHUCK NORRIS.

"Conservato! Your evil ends here!" shouted Naruto, pointing accusingly at Conservato.

"Nobody in this entire _damned_ series is currently sane, and your constant Godmoding is leaking into our worlds!" declared Cloud.

"So we from the Overpowered Protagonists League have deemed it our duty to stop you and your Godmoding ways before you can cause any further damage to the universe!" growled Ichigo.

Chuck Norris just stared threateningly at Conservato. A chill ran up the spines of the Valeans.

Isaac and Jenna ran up to the faceoff.

"Conservato!" yelled Isaac encouragingly. "Show these losers why you are our God!"

Conservato glanced back at the two of them and smiled. "Fine, I'll show you all my true power!"

"Oh no you won't!" yelled Cloud. "OMNISLASH!!"

"BANKAI!!" roared Ichigo.

"RASENSHURIKEN!!" bellowed Naruto.

"Roundhouse Kick," muttered Chuck Norris in his deep, monotonous voice. The earth trembled slightly.

Conservato gazed at the approaching attacks of his enemies.

He then raised his index finger... and simultaneously blocked ALL the attacks. (oH-mah-god, AIZEN MOMENT)

"What...?" muttered the Overpowered Protagonists League in wonder.

"And... now it's my turn," replied Conservato in such a godly way he un-cliché'd the phrase.

Slowly and stylishly, he raised his palms. "Ka-me-ha-me-HAA!!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed the Overpowered Protagonists League.

The fight lasted only a few moments. His opponents were reduced to dust, leaving behind the portal they travelled though to reach Weyard. Conservato's eyes gleamed as they beheld the portal, sinister plans of tyranny already forming in his mind.

"Um, Lord Conservato? What are you going to do now?" asked Alex.

Conservato grinned. The _worlds _were about to witness a new God.

* * *

If you guys couldn't tell, I was on a complete sugar high when I wrote this one... and when I agreed to write this as well. Re-reading this twisted piece of crap _really_ sent me into a "WTF was I thinking" mode.

... Now that I think about it, I've had too many highs as of late. Probably a phase I'm going through.

Read and Review!


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